JUDGED

I was baptised Roman Catholic, I was sent to a Catholic school from Kindergarten to High School. And yesterday I came out to my family as an Agnostic Theist, I wont say that it was an accident I guess it was just never brought up in conversations, nobody ever asked me about my beliefs, it happened like this, my kid cousin and I were sharing my iPad because she was watching me play Clash Royale and she didnt want to go to Church and she asked me why I dont go to masses with them and I told her that I am an “Agnostic Theist” and she told that to her mom yesterday when she was being forced to go to church. And when she told her mom that I was the one who told her about it, my Aunt was furious and she told my grand mother and little did I know my whole family planned a meeting (more like intervention haha)  that afternoon to somehow “enlighten” me of this “absurdity”.

I think it blew out of proportion because whenever they hear anyword that rhymes with “Atheist”, they immediately think that the person who identifies as that worships Satan. Which is funny, I guess it is a big deal to them because they are religious, conservative and traditional (a trait most Filipino Families possess), that’s why most of the time I find it hard to get along with them, most of the time I feel out of place because I am not as devoted as them to Catholic practices, because I find most of them ridiculous. I dont believe in most of the practices and written words, my family are against homosexuals, I love them to death but I dont like it when they talk bad about homosexuals, it’s almost as if those people dont have feelings, when same sex marriage got legalized in the US my family said lots of nasty things which I found wrong, because Love is love, it knows no gender. I hate the fact that because of their religion they became such closed minded people. Yesterdays meeting was one of the most annoying and awkward of them all, some of them said that it’s because of the internet, of the things that I read there and because of my sci-fi novels and movies and so on, but no I have been Agnostic since freshman year high school, that’s why I almost flunked our religion subject, the very reason why I didnt attend any prayer meetings and living rosaries. This isnt a phase, I am not doing this to get attention, yes people my family think that this is a giant hissy fit because they think they dont notice me much, well no to think of it I actually liked being invisible because it saved me the burden of being criticised.

Oh the tension in our living room was high yesterday alright, they were judging me so hard one of my uncles was holding on to a bible so hard that I thought he will slap me in the face with it. I do believe in God and Jesus, and I grew up believing that they are pure of love and acceptance, and I still think of them that way. It was also said that he loves everything that he created, I firmly believe in that. The absurd thing is that my uncle started reading this article about this Korean girl who got a tour in hell I think? she saw what happened to the non believers, rapists and so on, maggots and impalements were mentioned, I dont know if you have heard of that article but I dont believe her. Because I was taught that God is a man of love, he hates seeing us in pain and hurt so why will he permit those kinds of things to be done? I think the whole thing is just spreaded so that people will be scared, and when they are, then they’re easier to manipulate.

They failed to “enlighten” me yesterday. And I dont know what they’ll do to me for the next couple of years but my view will never change. Sorry family.

(photo from google| and yes it is Rihanna on the picture I didnt use her picture because she is an Agnostic too, I dont know if she is, I used her picture because of her facial expression that’s all)