Thursday: Exhausted

I just finished all my paperworks to be submitted tomorrow, I dunno why I procrastinated this last few days when I swore that I am going to be the most productive and competitive student this semester. I guess I lost my eagerness but I shouldnt because I already started this I mean I have been acing most of my quizzes so far, so why stop now? today is such a tiring day because our classes started at 8:30 am and I was supposed to go home at 10:30 am too and be back at 4 pm but since we have a presentation for eco tourism this coming tuesday we had to stay and shoot scenes, it was fun though but the coat got me sweating like a pig, but I shouldnt be complaining because I wasnt the only one who was wearing it, most of us did even my friend Mary, my role was the Tourism head of DOT Philippines who visited Region I, specifically Hundred Islands National Park and Vigan Heritage Village.

I dunno why most of them are ignoring me, but it’s alright it doesnt bother me that much I have another friend and she’s cool and as hyper as me. I dont need that much reassurance from anyone anymore because I am fine with just being myself. I dont like forcing people to do things they dont want okay? and I dont plan on talking on them too when they dont want to talk to me in the first place, I have too many things to do rather than think about why they appear to be angry at me now. Frankly, I am too exhausted to care both emotionally and physically go talk to me if you want to and dont if you dont. I am fine with having only a single friend, I dont need a handful if they stab me behind my back, I already have a broken heart from one relationship, dont give me another. Anyway, I am happy that I have one friend who seems to be very in sync with my personality and who doesnt get annoyed with me. That’s all I guess.

I think you’re doing it wrong.

So a new trend has started here in our country which I know has been around for quite some time now. It’s this internet challenge called “Be careful who you bully challenge”, at first I was alright with it because I thought “well it’s a good thing that my fellow victims have the confidence to show off how beautiful they are now”, but then as days passed and as I scrolled through my news feed I saw this collage, and it had a caption “#becarefulwhoyoubullychallenge” and it was my gradeschool bully. It infuriated me, because the nerve of her to post something like that when she doesnt have the right, she was the one who tortured me all day from 1st grade to 6th grade and now i’ll see a post from her saying “Now I can smile and say that I AM A SURVIVOR”, Really girl? No you’re not, you’re the tormentor. I swear nobody bullied you because I was there. It wasnt you who got thrown eggs at and reeked for days, no you bimbo! it was me and you did it to me. And  what did I do? I made a status saying “I swear, nobody bullied you. Why are you doing that challenge? hahaha it’s ironic actually, because the bully was you”. 

Now I am annoyed at these kinds of posts because I start seeing people from my alma mater and also other people who I am sure nobody bullied, and who are actually part of the popular clique. They are in it for the sake of being internet famous/ for the likes and reactions, which actually is stupid because the only thing that can be concluded from it was that they didnt have filter and effects then, and now they have VSCO and snapchat. Now I am not being a buzzkill, I’ll admit that some are valid because you can really see their transformation, the only thing that is bothering me is the title of the so called “challenge” they are doing, they werent bullied so the collage is simply a “Before and After” photo. Stop being misleading, and what the fuck are you trying to prove? do you think the people who will see your post will instantly feel pity for you? I was a victim of bullying, you’ll never make me do that challenge, not because it’s mainstream because I think the value of that challenge is gone, and now for me it is stupid. Because those who were bullied who posted their pictures to show that they are now capable of doing so because they have self confidence arent justified, because people who want to attract attention but werent bullied does it too.

My fellow victims of bullying, the real way to show our bullies that we won is not just by posting a collage showing how much our appearance has changed it’s by showing them that we became better people than they ever will be, that we have survived the physical and emotional trauma/damage that they have caused and that we are happy and living our lives to the fullest now. And my message to those who post these kinds of picture collage even though they werent bullied ever in their lives:shame on you for riding in the coat tails of my fellow victims and I, stop doing this challenge okay? this isnt for you. I am not telling you to stop posting pictures of yourself though, or any throw back pictures, use the right hashtags and label. Stop collaging us to death, phonies 🙂