Unpopular Review: Green Inferno

I always thought of Eli Roth as my Spirit animal haha. Because one of the first horror movies that I have watched and loved as a child was Cabin Fever, and since then my love for Gore and torture porn started. One of my life goals is to meet him in person because it would be fun and interesting, two horror enthusiast exchanging banter I hope he doesnt think I am boring and creepy when that time comes though, we also have the same energy level hahaha. Anyway, I know the Green Inferno was released months ago but I only got to watch it earlier because I had to wait for an hd copy of it online. And although it received an average rating on IMDb, I still have to say that I enjoyed it as an Eli Roth fan, because all of the elements that make it an Eli Roth masterpiece is there, the gore, the torture scenes and of course his lovely wife. The blonde girl who is Justine’s room mate is kinda off putting, her acting is terrible the blank face? I mean come on. Most of the actors to be honest, their acting are “porn quality” there are some scenes in the movie where I laughed my ass off like that one where the blonde girl (who has panic attacks) had explosive diarrhea on the pig pen and that other scene where that douchebag (who acted as the leader of the group) jacked off, I know he’s under alot of stress but fapping when there’s a dead girl in front of you and her throat is slit? dude come on have some respect.

The scene where they stuffed a bag of pot in the dead girl, was amusing because as expected when the tribe found her, they roasted her and as a result the tribe got baked off marijuana, the scene showed them laughing, and poking each other. Then later they got the munchies and munched on that other white guy hahahaha. It’s also an intense movie, the type where it will keep you biting your nails, especially that scene where this Jacksparrow looking Elder of the tribe (she does look like him tho, well her get up at least) almost mutilated Justine’s vagina, seriously her body was covered in white shit and she was naked, that made my legs cross tightly because the hook that was to be used looked filthy, and the thought of having your poonany getting sliced and shit like that, come on board to the nope train with me ladies, there are still plenty of seats left hahaha. I also liked it because it made fun of all those social justice warriors who go hashtag frenzy on any social media platform, who I think doesnt really care/know enough about the purpose of the thing they are fighting for, they just want to appear as if they do…for example #Kony2012 remember that?

I’ll give it a 7/10 rating because I did enjoy watching it, but I dont think i’ll recommend it because I dont think most people will like it, it is not for the faint of heart, but if you are a fan of Eli Roth’s work then go for it! It did remind me of Cannibal Holocaust a lot, but Cannibal Holocaust is much more better (of course) but it is a great homage to 70’s cannibal flicks. I hated the ending though, and I am waiting for a sequel hahaha.

 

Babadook

I am back from what? almost a week hiatus? I dont really believe in writer’s block because there will always be something to pick on or to write about, and if you’re really running dry on any topic just make a list of the things you love, or hate haha, so anyway, I spent most of my time these past days watching movies and I finally finished the book I’ve been reading which was Anne Rice’s “Lestat the Vampire”, and it’s an awesome book. I have to be honest though, I imagined Tom Cruise as him til I finished the book. And I watched Mafia movies, mostly De Niro’s and psychological thrillers. Among my favorites were Goodfellas, Scarface, Good Night Mommy and Babadook. And I gotta say, Good night Mommy and the Babadook had some similarities but I liked the latter more.

Now I am not a movie critic okay? so I apologize if what I am going to write is a very mediocre review. Okay, I loved the Babadook because it’s one of those movies that doesnt give everything up, during the first part of it I found Samuel (her son) unbearable, he misbehaved alot and he’s just so annoyingly aggressive, especially during the car scene when he started going ballistic on the backseat, his mom has been grieving his dad’s death for almost 7 years already. There was this scene when he hugged his mother and at first she seemed to accept it but when it got a little bit long she pulled him away from her, saying “Okay that’s enough” I felt a little bad for him and I thought maybe that’s the reason why he’s acting out a lot, and as the movie progressed I understood why. Especially when he said “My dad died while driving mum to the hospital to have me”, it’s then I realized that she has a grudge on him, that’s why she refused to throw him birthday parties or when she does it’s a joint party with his cousin, she hated the fact that his birthday is also the day that her husband, his father died. And then one night Amelia asked him to pick a book for her to read as his bedtime story, and he pulled out a big red book titled “The Babadook”, and she started reading it but she didnt finish because it took a turn for the worst, and there were still blank pages on the back of the book. She was freaked by it that she hid it on top of the wardrobe. And then Samuel became frightened of it, he made weapons that he got in trouble for when he bought it to school. And then the entity started to terrorize their home, causing Amelia to have sleepless nights and this caused hallucinations for her.

Okay I am not going to make this longer, the Babadook is a part of Amelia. All the odd things that happened in their house that she claimed was because of the Babadook is actually her imaginations or she did it without being aware. Like when she burned the book, and it came back well, that scene in the Police station when she was going to report something but she doesnt have enough evidence, if you’d notice her fingers are covered in what appeared to be coal. Meaning she was the one responsible for the reappearance of the book with extra pages/scenes, if you were paying attention in the beginning of the movie, her sister in law told her “Maybe you should go back to making children’s story books”, and because of this she is also the one who made the original/first book, maybe she doesnt remember making it because maybe she made it without being aware, because of her insomnia, and it’s about her dead husband (idk tome it sounds close to “The Dada Book”). And that scene when she was cleaning the kitchen, right before the two people from child protection agency came, when she saw a hole behind the refrigerator with cockroaches crawling out, was just her hallucination because of the sleepless nights. Another clue is when Sam told her something like “The babadook is still here isnt he?” is because the babadook is a part of Amelia, as I’ve said in the previous sentences. Now the ending, yes it is bizarre with the bowl of worms and the nasty snarls, my interpretation of that is, Amelia still hasnt moved on completely but she is coping with it successfully than she had years prior. Hence her saying “Shhh it’s going to be alright” or something like that in the ending hahaha. All in all I will give the movie a rating of 8/10, and I totally recommend it if you still havent watched it yet.

Oh wait there is still another thing that I’ve noticed in the movie which is a thinker. The ending with her and Sam being happy in the lawn, sipping tea and eating cake is lovely but I cant help but think about that one scene, where she was watching tv and the news came on and it was something about a mother killing her 8 year old son, and then after that she saw Sam and his dog bloodied on the sofa…..and it turned out that it was just her imagination. Or was it? that is the part I am not sure about, I liked the happy ending of her and Sam finally connecting to each other, but there’s still that other one but whatever this is why I loved the film so much, because it leaves so much to the imagination of the viewers, Sorry for the spoilers! enjoy watching it still though hahaha.

Letter for a broken hearted

Hello darling how are you holding up? It has been a week since he left. Did you get some sleep last night? or did you stayed up until the crack of dawn again thinking about how you couldve done things differently, so that maybe, just maybe he didnt give up on you? I wish you would stop that. You deserve peace of mind, he already made his decision he will never come back anymore, I know this sounds harsh but you have to pick your broken pieces and try to put them together once again, I know darling, I know it’s hard but you have to. You will make it through this, I know it. You’re strong, you lived without him before right? You can do it again, you just have to re-learn how to be happy on your own. The thought of living alone terrifies you now, you’re thinking that you’re incapable of being loved because the person whom you thought would love you for thick and thin, left. You’re afraid to trust again, because you dont know whether they’re lying or if they’re telling the truth.

How many cups of coffee will you drink to finally realize that he isnt coming back anymore? that he’s no longer yours? darling, as much as I want to tell you reassuring and sweet things, I just cant because I dont want to make this worst. Why should I tell you things that will only give you false hope? people will say that I am a bad friend. But I’ll tell them that I am not, I may be harsh on you but wont you rather cry rivers because of the truth than to bask in the beauty of a lie? How many sips of coffee and caffeine fixes do you need to get over the fact that he left you for someone new? I asked you this and you told me you’ll never get tired of the taste of coffee. I hope you do though, to get rid of those sleepless nights where your pillows get soaked in tears, for the jittery feeling you get that you get startled so easily even by the sound of a cat landing on your tin roof, for days like today, where you feel so tired that you find it hard to get out of bed. Oh my sweet girl it breaks my heart to see you like this, but I dont know what to do other than offer you words put together in letters like this, hoping that when you read this you’ll feel a little better about your self, and step out even just a little from the void he created a week ago. I am sorry, do you still feel numb and empty? Oh sweet heart I tried to warn you about this,and I thought you’re well prepared but who am I kidding? no one will ever be ready for something like this, they might think so but when it really does happen you’re lost, you panic and ask him to stay, beg…plead, and then you’d hate yourself after because you stripped yourself clean of the all the pride that you had but he still left. And now you’re stuck in this spiral of misery, not knowing if you’ll ever get away from it or not.

Instead of sleeping, you sit in your living room couch bathrobe clad with mismatched socks, with a huge ass cup of coffee waiting for the rising sun, hoping to hear a knock on the door and to hear his voice that you have grown so much to love, after a year and 2 months of being together. But you waited for a whole day, and there were no knocks, not even a glimpse of his shadow, and the day becomes night and you turn your coffee maker on again, and you’d do the same thing you did the previous night.

I am still waiting for the day that you get tired of the taste of coffee.

 

Buried myself alive

you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights

You alrady see that I am on the verge of a breakdown and instead of calming me down and comforting me, honey why do you have to make it much worst? why do you have to rain on my parade when I needed you to become the ray of sunshine that I really need? one minute you treat me like I am the only girl in the world and next thing I know I am nothing to you once again, I have become an option again. Darling why do you keep fucking with my emotions like that?

well this time I’m not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry

I decided that I dont want to put my happiness on someone else again, but with you it is hard. Because when I see you and when I spend time with you I feel as if I won the lottery or I just met and hugged my favorite musicians, with you I feel butterflies in my tummy all over again, and even if you treat me like shit sometimes I keep holding on, for the sake of the moments when I felt bliss, pure bliss. I have my guards up, but you’re making it hard for me to protect myself. There are some nights when I feel so fucking bad that I just cry myself to sleep, without you knowing of course. I just hate being an option.

I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

And it was during those nights when I curse you so bad and I think of leaving you for good. For all of the shit that you put me through, for all of the crap that you made me believe. Those were the nights when I completely shut you off, when I tell myself that I dont care about you anymore because most of the time you just add insult to my already throbbing injury. Those were the nights where I try to shun you from my head but never in my heart. However hard I try, I keep checking my phone for any messages from you, there were none of course, because you are a fucking jerk arent you my love?

I guess it’s ok I puked the day away
I guess it’s better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you’re gonna have to ask

Then there are days where I think I am ready to leave you, that I dont care about you anymore and those days becomes a week or two. I thought I was capale of really doing it, I just want you to notice when I am not around. And I want you to make an effort to make me feel like you’re the most important person in the world to me again, I just wanted to see if my affection really matters to you. So what do I do? I give you the cold shoulder. But you dont do much to get my attention again dont you? because you dont really care. You just hang on to me for the sake of having a girlfriend when people ask if you do because who wants to be alone in this wolrd anyway right? maybe it’s time you make me feel like I really am.

I think the chain broke away
and I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home

When those days came when I made you feel like I dont care about you anymore did you feel it? did it make an impact on you? I dont know, you didnt seem bothered. And here I am still asking you questions if it did, when the answer literally shows. I dont know what to feel anymore, I love you so much but why are we like this? why do you have to treat me like I am an option when I should be a priority because I am your lover? am I that unworthy of your time and affection? that’s why I dont know if I can still hold on, or if I should still hang on to US. Start acting on it please, because all I am asking is for you to make me feel my worth, how much I mean to you. But now it’s like you’re pushing me away, and I dont know if I should move on already or just lie still in this void you created. I can easily move on from anyone, so just say the words my man.

with my foot on your neck
I finally have you
right where I want you

I would be lying if I tell you guys that those lyrics are true because they’re not. But how I wish it were, because then I wouldnt be ranting on about how he treats me like an option. No I dont have him where I want him. Because he can never be tamed, I tried telling him a dozen times the things that I want him to do, or at least try doing, for me. But he never listens, he just seem to but he does not. I wish he did, so that I dont have to write long ass blog entries like this just to make me feel alright.

Friday

Some things are better left unwritten (or unpublished). But most of the time I couldnt help myself. Some of my blog posts here are pretty personal and I know that once a thing gets posted on the internet even if you delete it, it will still be there. But it’s alright with me, I am a people person and I love exchanging stories with people, I love hearing about how their day is going, what their favorite books are, and so on. And in this blog site I get to know them from the wordpress feed (I think that is what the page which features the articles of other bloggers is called, correct me if I am wrong) and I love that, that’s why I dont mind sharing my personal thoughts and experience with other people here. I dont keep the traditional journal anymore, what I mean is the old notebook and colored pens, and magazine cut outs…that kind of journal. But dont get me wrong I loved doing those, when I was younger I used to let myself get lost in writing and doodling on those pages, but everything changed when my grandmother found them (I had kept a couple of those I think by that time I had 5) and started reading them, and by dinner time she used what she read there as a dinner conversation piece. And I didnt like that, I felt violated and humiliated, I felt as if my freedom was taken from me. So after dinner I burned them except for one, my oldest journal which I still have now. After burning them, I almost regretted it immediately, because I thought of the memories that I just burned, all the what if’s and teenage angst that would have been fun to re-read when I become an adult. All the weird and random thoughts and my late night cravings, but then again I thought maybe it was a good thing. Because most of what I’ve written there were angry entries, so much profanity and hatred.

Even here, that’s why I said in the beggining of this post that some things are better left unwritten. Because writing a blog post about a certain thing did more harm than good. I just couldnt restrain myself from saying things that arent nice, it’s like when I am writing I get this overwhelming feeling of bliss, of impunity. But then again after a few days someone will just send me a message saying they didnt like what I wrote on my blog, really now?  at first I thought that was so funny, because if you didnt like what you have read, then why bother visiting my site? I didnt beg you to do so, you came at your own will. But after I calmed down I realized that, words when stringed together can either be two things: 1) beautiful and pleasing. you cant help but smile or sometimes laugh because the content is silly or romantic. 2) evil and crushing. Nobody wants to read an article that speaks foul of them, even if what the writer said is true. Now that person which the blog post was aimed at will feel angry, overwhelmed and HURT. And after all things that I’ve been through, hurting other peoples feelings is the last thing I want to do. Even though their names are altered here, sometimes I dont even appoint any for them, they claim that they still know that the person that I was talking about was them, and they dont like that.

So from now on, I will still continue writing of course, because writing is one of my favorite thing to do, besides reading and watching movies. But I will filter some of what I will write to minimize the damage that it might do to others, that’s all and I hope you guys have a nice day ahead!

I am a Millenial

I was chilling downstairs earlier, just reading a new book that I bought It was Lestat the Vampire by Anne Rice and then my aunt franticly came to me and was like “you have to help me, how do I see the web browsing history of this?” she was holding my 15 year old guy cousin’s laptop, he was with his friends when this was happening. And I was like “I’ll show you but then Reian will get pissed at me because that is like invasion of privacy”, she grunted but she sat next to me and she googled how to and when she finally saw the search history, I thought she was just going to clear it out but then again I heard an instrumental, kinda intense but soothing music coming out from the laptop and it sounded so familiar to me but I couldnt really put my finger on what video it is, and then my aunt kinda yelled “I KNEW IT HE WAS WATCHING PORN!” and I looked at her and I was like “that couldnt be a surprise for you aunt M, I mean you have a 15 year old  son”, she kinda calmed down and sat down again and I didnt expect her to resume watching the video but she did! And for like a split second she shouted again and this time with profanities and she didnt even had the guts to pause the video it (the laptop) fell on the floor, thank goodness for our carpet, she said “Putangina! nakakaaduwa naman nakain ng tae yang mga hayup na yan!/Your mother’s a slut! these girls are eating their feces! what kind of sick animals are they?!” and then suddenly I knew what it was, it was one of the pioneer shock videos that ever surfaced the interweb, 2girls1cup. And as I picked up the laptop I found myself saying “oh yeah this old thing” and she looked at me as if I was a homicidal maniac, she was like “what do you mean that old thing? YOU KNEW WHAT THAT WAS? YOU WATCHED IT BEFORE?” and I found myself smiling and I told her “yeah, I think I was in the 5th grade when cousin Rom made me watch it”, and she shook her head in disbelief. And while she was in shock, I peeped on my my cousins browsing history and saw a couple more of these kinds of “classic” videos.

And then my aunt took it again, and she asked me “so I am guessing most of these searches are similar to the thing I just watched?” “Yep, except lemon party that thing is just a photo”. She started scrolling down and decided to watch another one, but by this time I told her “aunt M if these types of videos upset you, then I dont think you should watch the other ones these things tend to get nastier”, and then she said “well if you watched it when you were in fifth grade-” “started when I was in fifth grade”, “yes, then maybe I can handle it” then she smiled at me and I was like “okay then suit yourself”, and then I guess she got a little scared and was like “scooch closer and watch it with me, take a trip down memory lane” and so I did HAHAHAHA. We watched 1guy1jar, 1girl1tampon,1 guy 1 screw driver and when we got to BME Pain olympics she was like “How are you not bothered by this?” and I had a sudden realization, Jesus H I was even eating chips while watching this and I told her “I guess nothing shocks me that much anymore, I mean the amount of fucked up shit that I watched from the internet since 2006 aunt M, it really is true curiosity does kill the cat, and by cat I mean my innocence”. And she just looked at me all sympathetic and all and she said “Oh you poor children! Look at what technology is doing to you! sometimes I dont really know if this is a curse or a blessing no wonder there are so many of you who are messed up in the head”, well I wanted to get offended by what she said but she was right hahaha.

In my 20 years of existance I think I have seen my share of internet shit that I wish I didnt watch, especially the Pain olympics because that shit is just plain nasty hahaha, and that video of a  Canadian pornstar who stabbed his asian boyfriend with an icepick then proceeded to eat parts of him, and even have sex with his dead body, and who can forget Mr. Hands? oh sweet pea, I guess my cousin is as corrupted as me now, hooray for the internet HAHAHAHA.