Dear people,

I have been fed up from all of the shit that facebook had for a long time now that I rarely use the damn thing, the Philippine society is so fucking cancerous that it’s so fucking shameful to be a part of. I am far from being pure, but I am not one of these people, at least I am more open minded and open to new things. Here  are my 2 cents,

  • Whoever people choose to support in politics is their prerogative,  wishing them to get raped, get hit by a car or die in a fire, because they criticised him and his ways is disgusting and wrong. Use your democracy wisely, many people died for that.
  • A person’s personal life is none of your beeswax. If he or she has a “sugar daddy” or “sugar momma”, it doesnt concern you so why are you so intent in bashing them? it’s not your duty to expose them, or to condemn, dont get mad at them because they have something you dont have, it’s their moral not yours so shut up.
  • If a  celebrity chooses to get some work done (plastic surgery) anywhere in her body and face  is their business. It’s their money too, telling them it only made them look worst wont change anything, what’s done is done. There’s a reason behind everything, maybe they became more confident after they had it done….stop being an asshole.
  • Those who post about slimming pills, whitening products and stuff like that? It’s okay to see them. People are trying to earn a living, stop asking them to take it down and say that those  are ineffective anyway, dude to each their own.
  • Starbucks and other food pics are alright, it’s their money, they want to show off? so what? let them live.
  • Bashing trans people for being who they are is disgusting. Is it that hard to accept them? and if you dont have anything good to say dont say anything at all. Dont you have manners? Jake Zyrus is a person, not a fucking target. Cyberbullying him wont make him go back to  being a woman, damning him to hell wont either.
  • Living in with your partner is not taboo. We’re in the 21st century Philippines, come on. And most people on the comment section say shit like they’ve never done a single naughty thing in their life, y’all are  fucking each other behind your “families”  backs and you bash two consenting adults who pay their own rent, buy their own food and try to live in harmony together? stop this hypocrisy.
  • Posting about Jesus and  different images that promises salvation is alright. If they believe that it’s helping them get a spot in heaven then let them be. It’s their belief not yours, respect them.What’s not okay?  shoving your beliefs down the throats of people who chose  not to believe in your religion.
  • Not believing in God and anything holy is alright. As long as  you arent stepping on anyone, respect them, just respect everybody.
  • Rape culture, victim blaming is still prevalent in our society. Why is it so hard to understand consent? and that women dont owe you anything? we dont dress to impress you, whatever it is we choose to wear, be it a plunging neckline, booty shorts and backless tops, you dont have the right to harass us. Control yourself, stop your impulse to hump anything with exposed skin.
  • Having brown skin is alright, you’re Filipino. But having such skin doesnt give you the right to talk down to those who were born with a white complexion. Saying that they’re just beautiful because of their complexion is just mean it’s not like all of y’all are pretty. Be nice to each other.
  • People who post shit saying that they’re better than those girls who wear make up are just disgusting. Stop it, it’s their money, they have the skill, you’re jealous and maybe a little insecure.
  • It’s okay to be smart. Smart shaming people because they corrected you is messed up, why dont you just listen? you might learn a thing or two.

I can go on forever but as of now Im gritting my teeth, Im mad. Why cant people just be nice to each other? stop judging each other and start respecting each other instead. Im thinking of deactivating my facebook account but I dont purchase cellphone load anymore and I only rely on free data to communicate with most of my family and friends. But anyway that’s all for now, Im going to make another post in the future maybe, because there’s still more.

Sa susunod

Dalawang buwan na,

Ilang buwan pa ba?

Kanina tila huminto ang mundo ko ng mahagip ng

gilid ng aking paningin ang aninong tila katulad

ng saiyo,

bumilis ang tibok ng puso,

pinagpawisan ng todo,

nahirapan huminga at hindi malaman

ang gagawin.

Nakakatawa ganto rin ako dati pagdating sayo,

pero tama na,

pagod na ako,

ayoko na,

nilimot na kita,

MALI

nililimot pala.

Papalapit ng papalapit ang pigura,

at sa bawat yabag ng kanyang paa

naramdaman ko nanaman ang bilis ng pag kabog sa dibdib ko,

“Tama na, tapos na, pakiusap tahan na” 

ngunit hindi pala ikaw,

nanlambot at tila nanginig ang buong katawan ko,

natutuwa ba ako?

ewan ko.

Lunurin nalang ulit sa alak ang lahat,

idaan nalang ulit sa walang kwentang biro,

para paraan nalang para malibang ang sarili

mula sa katotohanan na wala ka na,

at hindi ka na babalik pa,

Lunurin nalang ulit sa alak ang lahat,

ng panghihinayang at sakit.

Sa susunod hindi na ako ganto,

sa susunod hindi na ako masasaktan,

sa susunod na makita kita wala na akong

madarama,

sa susunod na makita kita hindi na ako malulungkot,

hindi na ako manghihinayang sa pag-ibig na nasayang,

at hindi na ako mangungulila sayo.

–MEL

11:34 PM/April 30, 2017

Note: this is a piece that I wrote way back in April, and I found it earlier when I was cleaning my room. 

 

 

Who are you kidding?

Ilang buwan na ang lumipas,

ngunit nangungulila ka parin sa kanya,

Ilang gabi na ang dumaan,

ngunit boses parin nya ang iyong hinahanap-hanap,

Ilang araw pa ba bago mo makamtan ang kasiyahan?

Hindi ka ba naaawa sa sarili mo?

Ang sabi mo saakin naka move on ka na sa kanya,

kaibigan nakikita ko sa iyong mga mata,

sigaw parin nila ang presensya nya,

ilan na ba silang dumaan sayo

para lang makalimutan mo sya ng sandali?

masaya ka bang nakakasakit ka?

sabi mo saki’y hindi mo sinasadya,

bakit ba kasi pinapatulan mo sila kahit alam mong

hindi mo naman talaga kaya pa?

sa kakahanap mo nawawala ka na,

idadaan nanaman ba natin sa alak?

kailangan mo nang tanggapin na ang balikan kay

hindi na nya balak,

tama na,

wag mo nang lokohin sarili mo,

kalimutan syay hindi mo parin magawa,

hindi mo naman kasi sinusubukan.

Pwede ba?

Ano yung pinakamasakit na phrase na nasabi mo sa taong minahal mo? hindi yung overly savage na minura mo na or dinegrade mo sya ng masyado ha, what I mean is yung nasabi mo na alam mo na sa sarili mo na pagsisisihan mo pag hindi sya sumangayon or hindi ka nya pinagbigyan, apart from the cliche line which is “bumalik ka na sakin, parang awa mo na”. Ako ito: “tatanungin kita kung mahal mo pa ako, alam ko na ang isasagot mo at alam kong hindi ko yan magugustuhan pero, pwede bang magsinungaling ka? pwede bang sabihin mo sakin na oo kahit hindi? magsinungaling ka please” , tapos hindi nya ginawa hindi sya pumayag napatingin sya sakin dati at ramdam na ramdam kong hinuhusgahan nya ang pagkadesperada ko wag lang syang mawala. Pero noon yun, at hanggang ngayon hinding hindi ko parin makalimutan kasi pagkatapos nun naghalo halo ang naramdaman ko, naghalo yung hiya, galit, poot at yung bigat ng nararamdaman, na wala akong ibang magawa kundi magkulong sa kwarto ko at umiyak at makinig sa mga kanta ng Mayday Parade.

Kaya siguro ngayon ganito na ako, hindi na ako showy, hindi na ako sweet, hindi na ako pala tawag sa phone, heck hindi na rin ako masyado nageeffort. Gawa kasi nung kupal na yun, na trauma ako, kasi feeling ko talong talo ako na hindi ko malaman kung ano bang ginawa kong mali kasi tinodo ko ang pagmamahal ko para sa kanya, na hanggang ngayon napaka bitter ko kapag nakikita ko syang naglalaro ng basketball, kapag nakikita ko syang naka summer white or black liberty na naglalakad sa hallway, tanginang high school/puppy love na yan nakakatrauma e. Siguro nga naging element din yung sobrang pagka immature ko dati, well namin isipin mo naman mula 1st year high school hanggang 4th year high school kaming on and off, yung pinaasa ba akong may forever hahahaha punyeta, hoy kupal hindi ka pa ganun kagaling magbasketball dati e, pero ngayon Varsity ka na hahahahaha tamo nga naman ano? at hanggang ngayon kapag nagkakasalubong tayo sa hallway tinititigan mo parin ako, pero kahit anong mangyare hinding hindi kita papansinin kasi dahil sayo nagbago ako. Hoy moved on na pati ako sayo, sabi nila matagal mo na daw akong hinihintay and I tell them na gago ka, na ang dahilan na tunay kung bakit ka single hanggang ngayon is because puro lalaki kaklase mo, at ayaw mo ng sausage party HAHAHAHA. Matapos kong babaan ang pride ko nun para sayo pinagpalit mo parin ako, o ano ka ngayon? sabi ko sayo e you’ll regret choosing her over me. Wala hindi ka nakinig boy, lumipat ka pa hindi din naman kita papansinin lol.

Pwede ba? girls, never ever chase someone who doesnt want to be chased. I did that and I felt so fucking bad, and I cringe even until now and that was way back 4th year highschool ha? e ngayon I am a graduating college student na, pero okay na rin siguro at nangyare sakin yun dati at least ngayon hindi na ako takot mawalan ng boyfriend, hindi na ako naghahabol, at hindi na ako masyadong nasasasaktan. Salamat na rin koya, pero mag move on kana yung number mo sa jersey monthsary parin natin, kupal ka dyan hahahaha. Naalala ko lang narinig ko kasi yung “Hey Daydreamer” ni Somedaydream kanina sa Jeep edi ba yan ang napakajejeng song natin? HAHAHAHA kaaduwa baga. Yun lang nabother nanaman kasi ako at naalala ko yung kashungahan ko dati hahahaha.

PS. Masaya na ako ngayon kay Babe 😀

Ito na ba yun?

Mahal ano na ba ang nangyayari saating dalawa?

Ikaw ba ay sumusuko na?

ito ba ang pagpapahiwatig ng iyong pagbitaw?

Hindi naman kita pipigilan hindi rin kita hahabulin,

Hindi ko ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko sayo upang mahalin muli kung ang gawin ito ay hindi mo na ikakasaya,

Hindi ko ipagpipilitan na mahalin mo pa ako sapagkat ayaw ko ng ikaw ay mahihirapan,

masyado kitang mahal at hindi kita kayang saktan at pahirapan pa

ang tanging nais ko lamang ay ang magmula sa iyo ang mga salita ng pagsuko,

nais koy ikaw ang bumitaw, ikaw ang tumapos, ayaw ko kasing sa bandang huli ay masisi ang sarili ko dahil sa desisyon na iyan,

masama mang pakinggan ngunit ayaw kong dumating ang araw na kakagalitan ko ang sarili ko sapagkat mali pala ang naging pasya ko,

kaya ikaw ang tumapos aking mahal,

ayaw kong magkamali,

aaminin ko matagal ko nang nararamdaman ito,

mahal alam kong darating ang araw na bibitawan mo rin ako,

hindi kita masisisi sapagkat kilala ko ang aking sarili,

ayaw ko kasing magbago kahit ilang beses mo nang sinabi saakin ang mga dapat kong baguhin, sobrang tigas kasi ng ulo ko ano?

hayaan mo hindi mo na kailangan pang pag tiyagaan ang pag uugali ko,

sige na bumitaw ka na, siguro nga hindi tayo para sa isat-isa,

hindi kita sinisisi at hindi ako magagalit sa’yo

liwanagin mo lang ang lahat aking mahal ng hindi ako nagmumukhang tanga,

ng hindi ako naghihintay sa bawat mensahe at tawag mo,

ng hindi ako nanghuhula kung ano na ba talaga tayo,

pagbibigyan naman kita, ibibigay ko ang iyong kalayaan kung yan ang gusto mo

masyado kitang mahal para pahirapan pa,

sige na bitaw na, bigkasin mo na ang mga salitang nais mong sambitin noon pa

alam kong pinilit mong intindihin ako, pasensya na ha?

sige na ng hindi na tayo nahihirapan pa,

ang nais ko lang ay ang ikay maging masaya, ang makitang ngumingiti ka ulit

kung hindi na ako ang dahilan ay ayos lamang saakin,

wag lang yung ganito na nangangapa ako,

sabihin mo lang, pagbibigyan naman kita e

ibibigay ko sayo lahat para ka lang sumaya,

kahit pa ito ay ang iyong paglaya.

-Mel

5 days to go

May 9th will be the election day and I am both excited and terrified. I am excited because, even if Senator Miriam doesnt do well in the poll surveys, I still believe that many (especially the Youth) will vote for her, because to be honest she is the most qualified and she deserves it, but enough about her I already made a blogpost about her already! I am terrified of the voters, the majority, because I think they are being blinded, I am not saying this because they wouldnt vote for who I am voting, but because most of the people especially in social media are campaigning for him, and they are very vicious and violent. They will send death threats to you, if you diss their “President”.

I am terrified because I dont think I can sit with the fact that another DICTATOR will rule the country, he said it didnt he? if he will be impeached he will shut the congress down. I dont think I can sit with that because many people have already fought for our democracy, and I enjoy my freedom, I enjoy the fact that I can say whatever I want in social media, may it be about the President, vice president, the family of the vice president, LGU, Cabinet members, I like the fact that I can photoshop any official’s head/face on a character and make a meme and still be free, that theres no curfew and that I am free to do whatever I want. Is that disobedience? In a way it is, but dont you rather have your thoughts expreseed, then be silenced and not be heard at all?

Are you gonna be able to take it when criminals are prosecuted without due process? when people get shot in the head for being suspects or for being drug users and drug dealers? I will not get all religious on you, but isnt it stated in the 10 commandments? God is the only one who can take another persons life, dont let anyone play God. I am scared because history does repeat itself, havent we learned from that? we are taught history in school, since gradeschool to college and still we let this happen? or did you just simply forget about it? well then maybe it’s time to open your history books again, refresh your mind. People were taken to camp krame and tortured for just about anything that didnt satisfy “the Man”, homes were stripped and searched, people were taken and most didnt come back, are you willing to go through that again? I am not.

But I guess I cant control anything, I hope you people dont regret your decision because this years election might be the last. And the Philippines that I grew up in and loved wouldnt be the same again. I hope after six years you’ll be happy with what you’ve done, and on who you chose to be the leader of our Mother Land.

PS. Six years ago you people made a petition for Noynoy to run as President of the Philippines, and now are you happy with his administration? did you feel the economic growth? are you satisfied? think about that. Choose carefully, dont let others get to you. And use your right to vote, while you still can.